I’m writing this because I stumbled upn a debate between bikini & figure competitors. One woman stated “figure women are tired of looking like men all the time”. I was like “WTF?”.  So back on to muscles make you a man debate. personally my response is usually “If I look like a man, then more men would be gay”.

Usually statements are of ignorance. Ive been at the gym for 5 years, nearly 5 days a week religiously. If it were 300 times a year, thats 1500 gym visits! So coming from someone who has gone to a gym zero times or perhaps even 50 times in the last 5 years…you must take those comments with a grain of salt.  You will never get a man who lifts as often as you do  telling you the same thing as men/women who don’t lift…..because they are not uneducated about what it takes to change yourself into a muscular person. I have literally lifted (mostly on legs day) until I felt I was going to cry. I rarely ever “cheat” with food as I don’t go for greasy or salty food unless I have PMS.  Food was never something that excited me like most people. I come from years of anorexia with the ability to have eaten only once a day or not at all, so food deprivation of any kind is nothing to me. I exist mostly on brown rice, shrimp, ground turkey and veggies (raw and cooked of course).  I feel better eating clean and dont get the blood sugar spiking and crashes others may be used to like after a big lunch when you suddenly feel like you need a nap. 

I also get comments about my face changing….well No shit it’s changed. Im 5 years older and its leaner than it used to be. My first photos are with probably over 25% bodyfat and Im  at 12 or less most times now .  My nose is exactly the same, so the nose job comments dont hold water either. Perhaps bonier on the side due to cheek volume loss and more prominant that before actually, but certainly not the hollywood tiny of todays ladies.  Ill tell you what I have had done it the past and what many women of my age have or are having done….FILLERS.  Yes, I had my lips tweaked because they have always been crooked and you know what? They are still crooked, but mostly it’s only seen when I smile, I tried labial fold fillers next to my nose about a year and 1/2 ago because it bothered me when I was leaner and it doesnt last long and no one noticed anyway.I also have learned in modeling to do what I call “the blow out” where you blow out with lips slightly parted and it gives the illusion of more fullness  with a pout 🙂 also try lip plumpers and lipliner slightly outside lip line, it does wonders!

Ive had a little bit of laser genesis and its a bunch of crap…doesnt work, doesnt shrink pores, doesnt tighten up diddley. The “youthful look” that I have is simple………overproductive oil glands. I said to my dermatologist “my face is so greasy and I’m 40…she replied “I see that”. and looked perplexed. She tells me I look more youthful because my face produces more oil than the average woman and I can see that, but must I be prone to breakouts at my age?!!  . At the other end of this I could have dry skin and wrinkles and be complaining about that part.  Its a constant battle with oil fighting products and my makeup artist chasing me to powder my face yet again for shine control.  You just cant win either way. Oh and I also had some botox in my forehead.  I had it done 4 times before I found a guy who could do it right and get it to work. 4x times it didnt work not one bit…unless you count the time it worked 2 weeks and I had an eyebrow spasm and my eyebrow would literally spasm and tighten and stay that way for several minutes….it was creepy.  I did the botox because everytime a photographer put me in a position and asked me to look up, I would have a furrow straight across my forehead and yes, it annoyed me and I stopped looking up at them when they asked.  Even young women have this issue. Frankly it didnt happen to me until I was about 40.

I recently saw Sandra Bullock on the cover of some magazine with a photo highlighting her face with a “mystery lump on her jaw”. As I see it, it…it’s simply a masseter muscle (chewing muscle) on the lean face of a 42 year old woman. Sandra is in great shape, so magazines need to let us age without pointing that kind of ridiculous stuff out. Now Sandra will probably see it and wonder if she should hae them botoxed to soften them up, and when she does the same magazine will complain and point out her facs softer and she “looks like she has had work done”!!!!  It never ends.

Im fine with simple tweaking for maintenance. Why wait til you are seventy and get cut open and lifted? A FEW MINOR TWEAKS…to look as young as you feel, no harm there.  No, I don’t approve of people who are morphing into someone who looks like a different person altogether, but wanting to look bright and rested is normal.

No matter how people look, there will always be someone who doesnt like it, who will try to cut you with rotten comments and all you are trying to do it like yourself and like what you see.  Our face is our first impression to others and certainly so much better with a smile of course. 

Okay, got to hit the gym 🙂


About Fern Assard

44 year old Professional Fitness Model, National Womens Physique Competitor, Mother or four...crazy food advocate fighting for a fitter, healthier America. Im passionate because I care :)

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