Okay, I don’t swear quite as much in person, usually just in my head and yes I am feeling f*cked 5 days out. yesterday I had to go to a different branch as my gym was closed, it was busier and machine were limited for legs and some were modified types that I am not used to. They have the same hack squat at my gym and I never use it because with my scoliosis, the added weigh upon each shoulder is bad for me, seeing as one shoulder is about an inch and 1/2 higher than the other. Sooooo….with the limited machines at this gym I think to myself  “just this once”. Well, after 4 reps something stabbed me in the butt. I believe its my piriformus muscle, which lies deep in the glute and in the area of that lovely huge nerve known as the sciatic nerve. So now i am in pain like I got kicked in the ass by a horse and it extends from my hip, lower back and into my hams., in which my hams had been tight lately and I havent been training them because of it. yes, I tried stretching, I tried piriformus stretches, side bends, lunges, yoga stretches, etc etc to no avail. I went and got a massage and nothing changed. So last night I am alternating heat and cold, heat being a heating pad and cold was actually a several pound roast of which was frozen solid. Perhaps it was a rump roast. My daughter says no one is going to want to eat it, but hey, I had my pants on…..no meat will go to waste in this house.

My other issue is a suit I ordered. I will not get into the makers name, as I think that is petty. Here is the store. I saw the suit on a website and assumed it was used. I buy them often used as they are cheaper and I can sell my old ones as well. new ones are often far too expensive as you probably know. Now, I don’t hava problem with it being new, but the ad just led me to believe when I finsihed paying off the balance after the initial deposit, the suit would be sent to me.  So I finished paying when my show was 2 and 1/2 weeks away and sent her an email as well as 2 payments she was notified of through paypal. I heard nothing, so I resent the original message and then yet another. So then I got worried and wondered if something had happened to her….so I went to her facebook profile and she had “unfriended me”. I then wondered if I was just being paranoid, so I sent her a friends request and wondered if maybe I was mistaken and we never connected there. As of right now, my friends request is still pending and a friend of mine requested her 2 days ago and she accepted! So now she is obviously avoiding me. I can totally understand if she had some family problem and my suit will not be in for this show. I have other shows booked as well, no big deal. Disappointing, but I can make do with another suit of course. I could also slam her name all over the internet because I am on so many message boards, have 3 blogs that are decently read, twitter, facebook and my facebook fan page. BUT that’s not in my nature and I am giving her a chance to make it right with me. That whole fool  me once, fool me twice thing. I’m a sucker sometimes and I do so love the suit. I just want it plain and simple.

Now I am having a suit made by Jodi Lane of http://www.jodilane.com. This woman has been nothing but on the up and up since I first spoke to her. The suit is gorgeous and a great price for brand new. I have concerns with my obliques and low rise and she sent me the suit plain to try on before stoning and it is perfect. Now if she were to contact me with a new delivery date due to family issues, death of a dog, what have you….I would be forgiving of course.

Ok, enough of that. I have to get on stage and look like I do not have a care in the world. Other women are doing an hour of cardio and I have done hardly any as I didnt want to be too lean and now I am sooooo bummed with this muscle issue and may not be able to train at all.  Not that issues have no happened before. I have……run out of oil and not been able to shower, had a hotel with no hot water to rinse and initial tan, spilled scalding coffee on my leg after stepping on a dead mouse the morning of my show the cat left for me under the computer desk. my car died once and I didnt know how I was going to get to the airport for the Arnold, Ive made my own suit out of scraps of an old dress after getting ripped off and sent an unwearable suit,  tanned myself after my daughter would not wake up to do my back, my basement flooded, my dog died, I couldnt afford my food and had to diet on lettuce and boiled eggs….the list goes on and on. I also pulled by upper back 3 weeks before the biggest show I will probably ever do….so no training then either. So before you find a reason to drop out of a show, remember we are not all primped up princesses with a free ride and no worries just dieting and looking pretty.  I lost my job 2 days before the jay Cutler last year and I’m still squeaking by on my 401k plan.  I sleep in a damp basement with probably black mold in the walls and life is not always good but I still keep moving forward and I still have hope of better things.  I am fortunate enough to have had help with show fees and my suits, but the rest of it still has to come from me. Sure I could just quit, but I love it and I am not ready to give up just yet.  Hell yes I want to several times a week probably, but I’m stubborn 🙂

Im going to try some slow walking later on. Im still waterloading for today, but obviously will have to dehydrate just a bit more than I wanted to appear leaner to make up for my lack of training this week.  I can walk just fine, I just cannot bend over, squat down, sit without holding the arms of the chair, etc.  If my face looks funny on stage it will be because Im holding my breath….but I will still be there!This is the hack squat to avoid. The older models are fine, but this type is nothing but dangerous. When going into the squat the shoulders are pressed to hard and your spine doesnt stay aligned as it should as it moves in some odd arc type of motion. I may just blow this one up 🙂

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About Fern Assard

44 year old Professional Fitness Model, National Womens Physique Competitor, Mother or four...crazy food advocate fighting for a fitter, healthier America. Im passionate because I care :)

One response »

  1. Tim says:

    Hang in there (I know you will). I’m wishing a quick recovery for you. And I’m avoiding all hack squats. 🙂

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